


6 Reasons Why Merlin is the Worst

by Mercury_777



Series: All the MerHartWin [7]
Category: Kingsman (Movies)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff and Smut, Hickeys, M/M, Multi, No Sex, Non-Graphic Smut, Public Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-08
Updated: 2016-08-08
Packaged: 2018-08-07 09:22:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 731
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7709611
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mercury_777/pseuds/Mercury_777
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Merlin is a little shit and you can't convince me otherwise.</p>
            </blockquote>





	6 Reasons Why Merlin is the Worst

**1\. He’s protective over his sweaters.**

The only person allowed to touch Merlin’s sweaters is Merlin. The only person allowed to wear Merlin’s sweaters is Merlin. The only person allowed to wash Merlin’s sweaters is Merlin. Merlin doesn’t like to share, he never has. His property is his and sometimes people just need to understand that. There have been only two things Merlin was content on sharing: Harry and Eggsy, and he sure as hell planned on keeping it that way. But, when he received a rather enticing picture of Eggsy standing in their bathroom, turned to the side, giving a great view of the lower half of his pert ass, donning Merlin’s favorite sweater and only the sweater, Merlin had to take a moment to rethink his view on sharing his sweaters.

 

**2\. He leaves his dishes in the sink.**

Harry has told him time after time to rinse his dishes and put them in the dishwasher after he uses them, but Merlin still refuses to do it. Harry is starting to believe that the reason Merlin does it is because he’s just trying to do a rise out of him, but that would be preposterous, right?

 

**3\. He likes to leave hickeys in the worst places.**

Merlin loves to bite and nip and suck at Harry and Eggsy’s soft skin and loves making marks on it. Harry and Eggsy love it too of course, but it’s very hard to keep coming up with excuses as why Harry has marks littering his neck and why Eggsy’s hips and thighs are covered in them. It’s easy to say that that was the most embarrassing physical Eggsy’s ever been in.

 

**4\. He never asks for help.**

His pride does not allow him to ever ask for help, even when he really needs it. There have been times when Merlin has stormed out of his office at home or work because he couldn’t figure out how to fix a problem. The first couple times he scared Eggsy with how mad he was, but Eggsy soon learned that all Merlin needed to calm down was a cup of tea, a short shoulder rub, and a kiss. Harry would then take over by sitting in Merlin’s office and asking him to explain what he’s doing and why. Then Harry would reward him with his favorite kind of cookies or something sweeter. Merlin doesn’t consider that help, he considers it encouragement.

 

**5\. He hogs Eggsy while they sleep.**

All three of them start out in their respected places; Merlin on the left near the door to the bedroom, Harry on the right near the window, and Eggsy squished between them. Harry turns on his side to face Eggsy and wraps his arm around the younger’s waist, then Merlin does the same on the other side. But recently Merlin has been pulling Eggsy to his side and wrapping his arm and leg around the boy, keeping Harry from even touching the boy because he was too far away. Harry was too tired to do anything about it the first night and on the next two nights he was worried that maybe Merlin just needed the comfort Eggsy gave. But, on the fourth night that bald-son-of-a-bitch waited until Eggsy had fallen asleep to reveal his true intentions. Merlin saw Harry trying to understand why Merlin was clinging to Eggsy and then winked, _winked_ at Harry and then pulled Eggsy even closer. Harry was very cold until he could figure out how to get Eggsy back.

 

**6\. He (and Harry, Harry is at fault too) loves groping in the office.**

It happens at least twice a week with both Harry and Eggsy. Of course he and Harry have been kissing and going in for the cheeky squeeze at the office way before Eggsy became a part of their relationship. They still give each other small pecks, but the sneaky swats to the bum have evolved into a game of _What can we do without getting caught?_ Harry currently holds record with giving Eggsy a hand job under the table at a meeting with two other Kingsman present. Merlin comes in a close second with giving Eggsy a full hard-on in his office right before he had to leave on a mission with Lancelot and Percival. The fun game at the office has basically become a torture method for Eggsy.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks so much for reading and I'm sorry for any mistakes (I beta all my stories).
> 
> So, this may or may not be related to stories I have written or will write. I'm thinking of continuing this by making a 6 Reasons... for Harry and Eggsy because all three of them are the worst, but when the come together they're the best. 
> 
> Please leave comments and suggestion for more stories. (So needy.)


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